The Curse of the Cervical Pillow

It was a dark and stormy day. All the earth was shrouded in clouds of snow and battered by gusting winds. The Fearless Lawyer bravely fought his way home from the office, his briefcase clutched in his sweaty palm as though it were a talisman against the forces of nature.

Suddenly, he was beset by the evil Dark Lord of the Pickup Trucks and doomed to inevitable collision. Our Hero, riding his trusty steed Tercel, was buffeted by the monster.

For weeks months after the encounter, the Lawyer (Our Hero) sought to stave off the curse with visits to his magical Sorcerer-Physiotherapist, but it was not to be. The magical touch of the therapist was actually an integral part of the plot to render Our Hero utterly unable to function. His lawyerly skills were to be rendered useless by the sorcerer’s pronouncement of a need for a cervical pillow to stave off the side-effects of the pickup-steed collision.

The cervical pillow having been bought and paid for (by the evil Insurance Wizard), was installed in the boudoir of the Hero and his Princess. Bold hopes were voiced for its effectiveness in the righting of the Hero’s neck’s physical wrongs. Alas, it was not to be.

The Cervical Pillow was a cursèd item, insidiously designed to rob the Hero and his Princess of sleep, thus rendering them impotent in the face of the powers of Work, Toddler, Housekeeping and The Justice System. After several nights, they fell deeply under its power and were close to death.

Luckily, the Princess had a secret weapon. Seizing the evil Cervical Pillow, she hurled the cursèd item into the depths of the realm of Linen Closet, where it would be devoured by the slavering Rag Bag. She them applied the Balm of Benadryl to the Hero’s parched lips and they both slept………

2 Responses to “The Curse of the Cervical Pillow”


  1. 1 Heather Patey October 6, 2006 at 10:35 am

    See? Lawful Good Half-Elf Cleric Bards are the best at de-cursing.

  2. 2 rexton October 6, 2006 at 2:02 pm

    I see a slight Chaotic flavour here; go, Vicky!


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Gone to the Dogs

Ferg, at 3 months
I'm an artist from Newfoundland, Canada, married to a lawyer with whom I have a daughter of three-and-a-half years, two border collies and a lab-esque retriever.
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